“Just Be Yourself” is Bad Advice

Don’t be yourself.

Want to figure out what to do instead? Stick around!

“Just be yourself!” is the worst advice

When I was a teenager, I struggled to find a girlfriend. I was shy and insecure, and socializing with strangers stressed me out. So when I told my older cousin Carmen, she said: 

“Just be yourself!” 

It turns out that’s terrible advice. Because many adults (me included) grow with little self-confidence. That is due to negative experiences from the past that leave a mark forever.

For many, being “yourself” means avoiding people, talking too much, or acting awkward, often defaulting to the phrase:

“That’s just the way I am.” 

This is a problem for making friends, getting a partner, or securing that promotion.

Well, guess what: you never have to say “That’s just how I am.” 

I learned from the author Brendon Burchard that when you clearly visualize who you want to become, you start figuring out ways to get there. You identify the habits that stop you and create new ones that get you there faster.

In the process, you challenge your fears, allowing yourself to do new things you couldn’t, like creating videos or speaking in public.

You also start meeting like-minded people who share similar interests and lift you up.

Little by little, this results in more self-confidence, increased self-esteem, and a better version of yourself.

Who do you want to become?

And it all starts with a question:

“Who do you want to become?”

I wanted to become: “a public speaker.” And that changed my life forever.

Clearly visualize the identity you want for yourself.

You’ll start becoming it and showing others your best version!

What do you think? Please leave your comments.